09 Cultivator

Two years ago I screwed up, now it was time to do it right. The yin and yang energy that I had accumulated was merging in the seed. Slowly, I could feel both energies flowing, and the roots began to grow. It was again a boring process, but this time it didn’t matter. I continued the process, without pause.

Suddenly, the flow of yang energy was greater, and I didn’t know what happened. I tried to make it smaller but it was impossible. I was afraid that it could happen the same again. I was preparing for the pain.

“Keep looking! Don’t stop! —my Master yell —, a sudden increase it’s something normal when you have accumulated one kind of energy more than the other. What you have to do is release the excess outside. Let me help you.”

The current of yang energy was again equal to the yin one, so I could continue the process. Hours passed, I could feel how the roots were growing, and the brightness of the seed growing more and more. The sound of the river was also strong, and now I could see where the river was. It was tiny, but full of energy and it water had a silver tone, it was beautiful. “That river is your inner qi running thought all our body —explain my Master—, right now it’s almost like a stream, but when you became more powerful, it will a might river.”

There were other changes, now the darkness disappeared, and all the place was white, but it didn’t have anything else apart from the river and the seed with roots. I asked my Master why it was so empty and she explained me, that this was simple the beginning, with more qi to nurture this place, more change I would see, and even some of that qi will become soil for the roots to set in and sprout what it would become my soul tree.

“We have almost finished —my Master said—, you only have to do the final step”. The final step was using all that energy to change the quality of my qi. To make more pure than before and eliminate all the impurities in the body. This process took two days and after that I could open my eyes. The first thing I noticed was a stench, not from the animals but from myself. I was sitting in a pile of stinky black goo. I was amazed that all that was what I discarded from my body.

“How do you feel?”, asked my Master. I felt… I didn’t know, I was so full of vitality, that I couldn’t explain it. My skin was smoother, even shiny, and I could see better than never before. It was so different!

“Congratulations, you are now in the first level of cultivation”.

I was finally a cultivator. It was an incredible sensation. All the days I was in meditation, all the time I took memorizing the technique, all the pain, all the effort… I felt I could cry for happiness. I was about to say something, but my stomach growled first and I began to feel very hungry.

Until now, my food was the thing that the foxes obtained for me. Most of them were berries and fruits. The first months were terrible, because I wanted to eat meat, but my Master told them that the only meat I would eat, was the meat I hunted myself, and even if they could give me some prey, as I was terrified bleed and skin the poor animal, I could only eat that, fruits and berries for more than two years. Today would not be an exception.

“Today is a day to celebrate. So I think that we could break the rules and allow you to eat the meat that the foxes bring, what do you say? I will do the cooking, don’t worry, you only need to rest.”

She was smiling, it was really a beautiful smile. My master was really happy for me, and I was overjoy. I had known her for less than the years I knew my parents, but she felt more than a parent than theirs. I was so strange that this tiny light in a shape of a beautiful woman could be my Master. I was like a dream. I close my eyes to sleep.

It was a good dream.

08 The first step

In my inner self, I could see the seed as a dim light, and my Master that had now a normal size, with a bright red light around her. She explained that here one could look as desire if the master of the place allowed it or if the guest was more powerful than the host. “Your inner self is your own kingdom, and If you want to defend it, you have to be strong”, she said. That was strange, because she already told me that it was a taboo to enter without permission. “Yes, it obviously taboo… only if you get caught.”

At that moment I understood that the cultivator world, where the same as the mortal word, but with higher stakes. It was a sobering thought.

“Now, we will start. You will feel pain, but not as before. Even so, you have to be careful”, my Master advised me.

The first thing that I had to do was release all the two types of energy that I had on my body and send it to the seed. The process had to be do it slowly, both poured in equal measure. It was simple but tedious. My Master told me that I couldn’t rush the process, but it was pretty boring. I thought that perhaps if I do that, and do it well she would complimented me. Perhaps I was a genius.

I let more energy to flow to the seed, it was stable and I could feel it in my body. It was getting stronger, and the seed began to grow roots. The roots had a beautiful blue glow so intense that for the first time, I could see around. It was a blank space, I couldn’t see any limits, and a sound like a river could be heard far away. I saw my Master smile and I was so happy that I began to be faster. When I did that, the smile of Master grow.

Perhaps I was really a genius, I was really proud of myself, until the pain began.

It was worse than the other time. So painful that I could not stay in my inner self. I could feel my blood running like wild horses. My heart was so fast the every pump, hurt. I could breath. My vision was becoming blurry, and even with my eyes wide open, I could see darkness.

“Stupid little girl! When I told you to do something, you have to do it!,” my Master shouted and I began to feel better.

After a while I could breathe easily, and I could enter my inner self. My seed has almost any light. Also I couldn’t hear the sound of the river. It was as the first time I entered there, perhaps worse.

“Your stupidity almost caused your death. I was sure that you would do something dumb, but this? This is beyond dumb! Di I not tell you to concentrate on what you were doing? Did I not tell you to do it slowly?”

“But Master, you were smiling… —I retorted with the only thing that I could say“.

“Of course I was smiling! I wanted to for you to have pain! I knew that you would try to be faster. Everyone do that! I did the same mistake when I was younger. But I have never believed that you will not be concentrating in the process! Haven’t I told you that this step was deadly while using my technique? I had seen a lot of young people been crippled while doing the first step with their techniques that are a lot easier than mine, and not as dangerous, but you did not even care! Now look at your seed! Almost dead! I saved it before it was too late, but right now I am thinking that it would be better if let you die; because next time your death could be more painful and gruesome! Do you want that?!”

I was ashamed. I couldn’t said anything. Saying that I was amazed by the growing of my inner self would only bring more shame. I couldn’t look to her eyes.

“All what we did was lost in the process. You will have to start anew –said my master, this time more calmly—, but this time I will be more severe, and if something similar happen again, I will not save you. I don’t want to have a disciple that don’t see me as their master. Do you understand?”

I wanted to cry, but I know that I couldn’t. I only nodded. “This time I will obey”, thought.

My master told me to exit my inner self and began to meditate. I would have obtain again the yang energy and also the yin one. I would have to meditate under the sun and under the moon, for many days, almost without sleeping. Without care of the rain, winds or heat.

I did that for two years before I was ready to try it again.

07 Using gods

Several week have passed, and I finally could meditate. Before that, I thought that is was a matter of breathing, but now I know that it wasn’t that. It is a state of concentration, of nothingness. I was cut from the outer world. I could feel my inner self like it was a vacuum. It was almost black, but with a faint white light in the, I thought, the middle of all. It was very small, the size of a firefly, but it was beautiful, I couldn’t stop seeing it.

My Master said that it was the seed of my soul roots and with more meditation and the technique it would grow brighter. It was very exciting to see that tiny, almost insignificant light, because it was my light, my own power born of my effort.

I asked to my Master if I could see hers, but she said that with my level, it was not a good idea. Also that it was bad etiquette to ask that. You always have to be invited, and if you try to enter without permission, the cultivator could kill you and nobody would bat an eye. That was very important to know.

“Master —I said— is there another rule that I have to know?”

She told me that they were many rules, but almost all could be resumed in giving face. Face was important for mortal, but it was almost a currency for cultivators. Because cultivator were all haughty people and it was important for them how the others think about you. The more powerful you are, the more face people have to give you, so if someone doesn’t give you face, it was like saying they didn’t respect you. That was something that they could not tolerate, not even myself.

I could understand a little bit of that, but not entirely. She simple said while laughing that I would know more about it when I was powerful enough to understand it. I didn’t know what to think about it.

“Soon, you will be one, and I think that is time to use the second part of my technique. This time you will do all. Do you remember how to use it?”

I had to learn the basics of “Using demons and gods alike”. Even I, who was new to this world, could understand the uniqueness of this technique. The demon part used yin to change a little bit of the outer me, but a lot of my inner me. That’s why I could improve my physique and see my soul seed. Now the god part would allow me to improve further my body and with the warm yang energy began to grow my soul roots. The inner and outer me would complement each other, almost perfectly. That sounded simple but was very difficult. My master explained that for someone who used a fire cultivation technique, it was better to use the fire element to improve, he could use other elements, but their usefulness would not be the same, because that energy would be converted in the body to a fire one, with a loss of effectiveness because of that. Also, for using a lot of yang energy the cultivator would be in an imbalance and even if they could achieve the peak, it would never be with the maximum potential.

My Master’s technique didn’t care of all of that. First, I could use any source of yin and yang and I would always use all of it, without losing in the energy conversion, and transform it in my own qi. Also, because I had a perfect balance, I would always grow with the full potential of my abilities unlocked. It was a supreme technique. And now, I would be using that.

As my body was full of yin energy, and needed the yang energy. In this first step, I was really easy, I only had to meditate at day near vegetation and I would absorb part of what I needed. Later I would need more than only that, but for that moment was enough. I did it for about four months before the last step.

“Now that you are ready —said my Master—, you have to meditate again. This time I would enter to your inner self and will help you to achieve equilibrium. This final step is the most crucial, if you make a mistake, you will die. Remember, I will help you for minor issues, but you will do the rest. This will the first and only time I will do this, do you understand?”

It was the third time that she said the same thing. I would be blind if I could not notice that she was worried. But also preoccupied, because I knew that if I make a fatal mistake, she would not help me, I had to prove that I was worthy. I was ready to take the first step… or die trying.

06 The moon

“Did you sleep well?”

I opened my eyes and I could see my master floating near my head. I make a little scream and my master began to laugh. “I’m not a monster —she said—, although you probably think that, don’t you?” I shook my head and blushed.

“But you did little girl —she continued—, don’t you remember? Cultivators can be monsters for normal people, and soon you will be one of these monsters. So don’t worry about it”.

Before, perhaps I could be scared, but now? After all the pain? Not, I was grateful to becoming a monster as my Master. Even so, I had a doubt.

“Master, you said that soon I will become a cultivator. I’m not already one? Do I need to do something more?”

“Yes, it’s time for you to know your master’s technique. As you remember, my technique is called ‘Using demons and gods alike’ it uses the yin and yang in a perfect equilibrium. So perfect that a small deviation could kill you and explode your soul. It’s a very dangerous technique, but also it’s one of the most powerful.

In general, all techniques use the yin and yang, but one more than the other. That’s good for these techniques because they don’t need balance. Why a fire technique would want more yin that is a cold energy? That’s illogical… for them. My technique use both at the same level, and because of the perfect balance it can defeat almost any technique in the world. No! All techniques! It’s the apex technique!”

My Master was talking with passion. I didn’t know if it was in fact the best technique in the world, but I trusted her words. I was about to be very powerful.

“Right now —she was still explaining—, you are full of yin, that’s not a problem because you have not learned my technique, but when you do, being full of only one type of energy can be fatal, remember that well.  But before I teach you that, first you need to know how to meditate. Meditation will be an important thing in your life, it will be the way to grow as a cultivator. It’s the easiest part of being one, but also the most important.

Sit down and close your eyes —she ordered me—. You have to be comfortable with the position you are using. Now, the important part is the breathing. When you breathe, you are circulating the energy through to all your body and your meridians. Right now you don’t feel anything because you are learning, but later you will be able to do it, and even correct deviation. Don’t try to force it, I will help you step by step”.

I try to meditate for hours, but I couldn’t fell anything. If not you been witness of my Master power, I could thought that she was a quack. She said that I had to try one, two or thousand time until I could feel it, and I felt stressed. I didn’t learn anything of that while I was with my parents. I didn’t learn any useful thing! I really hated them.

“Stop —she said—, what you are thinking about?”

I told her, and she reprimand me. She told me that I had to be in peace and only meditate. But I could do it, I had a lot of thoughts while trying to do it. A lot.

“You know, little girl? I’m your master, you have kowtowed to acknowledge me as such, I gave you a present, but I don’t know your name”.

That was true! I was ashamed. “Master, my name is Sun Yueling”.

“Sun? I know someone with a surname similar of that. I have not seeing him in a long time… Anyways, what do you think about your name? Do you like it?”

I was about to say yes, but I had to be honest with my master. “Master, I don’t care. I know that a name it’s important. I know that saying this is going against filial piety, but I don’t care about my parents at all, and even that name is a keepsake of their existences. I would prefer to have no name, if I have to choose.”

“Oh! That’s good! —she said—. Little girl, I will give you a new name. My name is Yue Fengliang, and you as my disciple will be called Yue Liang, and will be written as moon and bright. You will be the bright moon in a dark sky, always shinning even if all is darkness. This is my most important gift as your master. You will train, you will suffer, your body will be bloodied, but you will shine, Yue Liang!

I cried. I didn’t have any kind of words. I could think about anything. She gave me her surname! It was the most important gift I had ever received, even more important that the opportunity to be a cultivator. I was thankful, and I promised myself to always follow her, even if I had to go to hell for her.

Little I knew that would do exactly that, but that is another story. In that moment I only knew one thing, I would be the moon that she thought I was.

And I would shine like never before!

05 Using demons

“Yes, survive —said my Master calmly—, what do you expect? Do you really thought that this new step that you will take could be painless? No, there is no free meal in the world. This opportunity will allow you to have a body capable of cultivation, but it have to destroy the old, to create your chance. Now open your mouth, and prepare to change.”

I opened it, I already decided to follow her, so I had to follow her orders. The ball was hot, almost burn my tongue. “Swallow it”, my master order me and I did it.

At first it was hot, but nothing more, then… I yell. My whole body was in pain, like it was shattering from inside. I tried to move, but I couldn’t, the pain was paralyzing. I tried to yell again, but it was impossible, I couldn’t muster enough energy to do it. All was pain. Excruciating pain. My tears run through my face, almost like a river. It was in agony, I had never fell this torture in all my life. I could only think that she was in fact a demon that wanted to torture me. She use my naiveté and now was enjoying my torment. I wanted to see her face, but I could move a muscle. I couldn’t do anything. That was the end of my stupid life, and I deserved it for my stupidity.

So much pain! I could feel my blood boiling! It was no my imagination, I could hear the bubbles popping. My flesh was rotting, decaying. I saw how it was transforming in a fetid black goo. My heart was beating so fast that I thought it will pop out. “I want to die! —I thought— Kill me you damn witch!”

“This is the price for your transformation —the witch said—, you could succumb and die or be born anew. You have to endure if you want to live! It’s the only way! To live or to die, it’s your choice, it’s always your choice!”

It was so painful! I only wanted to live peacefully, why I had to suffer?! I didn’t care anymore, if it was my destiny to die, so be it. It was no worth it to suffer so much…

“Is this all what you can do? —the witch babble—. What about your revenge? It was not you who accepted me as your master because you want to revenge? All the fiery words that you was… where they are? Life is suffering, but also happiness. You only had suffer, but how about joy? Do you not want to have it? Is that all?”

My revenge? My revenge?! I was suffering and she could only think about my revenge!           My father never loved me, he always preferred my older brother and my younger sister. I was only the daughter of a concubine, never loved, always useful. He didn’t thought about me when he sell me, not even find me a husband but simply sell me! Like a mere slave! In his eyes, I was not worthy enough.

And my mother… my own mother! She didn’t defend me, she slapped me when I tried to oppose! “It’s necessary for the wellbeing of the family”, she said. I was her family! They were worthless parents! I wanted them to suffer as much as my damn siblings! Yes, those bastards. My dear brother that tied me, and my lovely sister that mocked me while I was crying. Yes! I want them to pay! I want all of them to suffer!

I shout damning them, it was so strong that I could fell the cave rumbling. The shout was so refreshing! It was marvelous!

“You have completed your transformation, congratulations.”

When I heard that, I turned to see the wi… my master. The pain was gone, and she was there, watching me, taking care of me.

I kowtowed. “Master, I’m shameless. You did had you promised, but I could only thought the worst about you. I’m not worthy of you been my master.”

She laughed. “Little girl, do you think I could feel your killing intent? But you don’t have to worry; there are not many people who could feel what you had fell without having these types of thoughts. Probably I would have do the same. After all, what I gave you was concentrated negative yin. That helped you to awaken the body of a cultivator, but it could give you negative emotions. That is part of my technique. The ‘using demons’ part. Later I will teach you how to control all that yin in order to improve your body.

But for now, you have to rest. There is still a long way for you to become a cultivator.»

She continued to talk, but I was so exhausted that I simply slept.

04 The cave

“Get up little girl, I don’t like this type of ceremonies. Also, perhaps in a moment you will be not so willing to do it. But first, we have to find a cave or a place to hide you. You will be weakened by the transformation and you will be easy prey for animals and people. Now take a weapon and follow me.”

There was a knife and swords, I tried one of the swords, but both were too heavy, so I had to choose the knife and began to move.

I began to follow her, for many hours until we found a cave. It was very humid and not very large and it had a terrible smell. “It has an animal smell —she said—, probably it is occupied; but there is no animal here that I can’t kill, so there is nothing to worry about. Enter the cave.”

 I entered and could smell the stench. It was very strong, and perhaps I would have vomit if I already didn’t do that before. I was almost dark but I could see the silhouette of some animals. My master began to shine with a intense red, and now I knew what kind of animals they were: two foxes near their cubs, they were protecting them. I could hear their growling. It was funny to think that some animals were better at protecting their children that my own parents… very funny.

“Hello there —my master began to speak to the animal, as if they could understand her—, we only need the cave for some days. We don’t want to fight with you, and while we are here, this cave will be the safest place in all the forest, you will not have to worried about your cubs, and after we have finished our business I will give you a gift. What do you say?”

The foxes stopped their growling, but they were seeing my master as if they were analyzing her, and each other with little grumblings like if they were talking while analyzing her words. I didn’t know that animals could do that. The dogs at my house were intelligent but not in that way.

The bigger fox began to bark, and my Master hear it attentively. “Yes, —respond my teacher— you have my word. Perhaps there will be some screaming, but I will shield any sound. And believe me the gift I will give you would be good for all of you. Believe me, if I wanted to kill you, we will not be talking right now”.

Some more grumbling between the foxes, and the bigger one, nod to her. I was impressed.

“Master, -I told her— I didn’t know that foxes were so intelligent”.

“Not all the foxes are, but these are very special. You could not feel it, but they have a tiny wisp of spiritual god fox’s’ blood. The spiritual gods are supreme beinsg that not many cultivator, even that their peak, could dominate. And these type of being began as simple as this foxes, so you could say that this type of foxes are a type of animal cultivators…”

“Master, animal can also be cultivators?!”

That was very shocking to hear, if some animal could have powers beyond common understanding, they could kill normal humans like we kill ants.

“In this world, every living thing that want to follow a dao can be a cultivator. For humans is easier to do it, but we are not the only ones. Even a tree, after thousands of years, will have a chance to become one”.

“A tree? What marvelous thing is the dao that allows to do that? What is dao? —I ask very amazed of this new world that will soon will be also mine.

“Dao? Oh little girl, that’s a good question. A good question indeed! The dao have multiple forms and infinite ways. I know that you are very anxious to discover all, but you will have to wait. First, you will have to survive, before even tell you what is the dao.”