I talk to him and spoke of what I was feeling. He was surprised. He didn’t think that I felt that way. He even tried to apologize, but I stopped it. “This is all my fault, these are my feelings, not yours, and I know that they are bad ones. I now understand why my Master was angry at me. She was angry because I was weak. If I can’t even congratulate you because the same thing didn’t happen to me, how I could be mentally prepared to be a good cultivator. I’m a selfish person and I need to change if I want to be better, a too be also a better sister for you.
I always said that you are my brother, but when the time came, I didn’t act as a sister. I want to be a sister capable to cheer you up and congratulate you from the bottom of my heart. I really do.”
What I told him was my real feelings, even if I hurt him a little, I wanted him to know how despicable I was, and perhaps he could forgive me.
“You know —said Meng Shang calmly—, sibling always fight, and they get jealous sometimes, that’s normal. I have seen my cousins and friends doing it, many times. But they always reconcile, and then they play as if nothing happened. I always wanted to have someone who could that with me. I know that you told me that, I felt kind of relieved. As you, I always said that you are my sister, but sometimes I felt that you were too distant with me. This is the first time that we really talk like siblings. I will not said that I was not angry when you don’t congratulate me, know I understand why you did that, and even if it’s weird I fell happy about it. Because is the first time that we actually acted as siblings.”
I almost cried. He was there with me, and we were sharing like real siblings. That day we talk about our past. He talked how he loved their parents, how his nanny was almost like his grandmother and how he loved to eat lotus cakes. He even tried to imitate the voice of his father when he was angry.
I told him how severe my parents were, and how I always was pushed away for everything. I also told him about my best friend, I shared with her everything and she was the one that help me to escape. I was worried that something could happen to her if she was discovered, but his father had a high position in the city so it was mostly impossible. I also talked how I didn’t like to eat tofu, but I could tolerated with honey.
He laughed a lot; she showed our feelings. It felt good. This was the first time that we were so open to each other.
While the time was passing, I could feel that my meridians were slowly open so my qi could flow again. I didn’t care for that in that moment. We keep chatting all day and even at night, with the moon illuminating the mountains. We saw the stars, and it felt wonderful. “Meng’er —I told him— thank you for everything.” He smiled. “You are my sister, don’t forget it.”
And when I felt I could control all my qi again, we went to the sect. I thanked my Master for this punishment. It made me realize many things and made me have a beautiful memory with my brother.